6w1 day - a little behind schedule

So, I had my second ultrasound yesterday. And to be perfectly honest, the entire appointment was a bit of a disappointment to me.

Having said that, let me begin by saying that the ultrasound tech did point out the flicker/heartbeat to me, so I am overjoyed that we at least know this little baby's ticker is hard at work. That was a big relief. However, the entire appointment was just... blah.  Let me explain.

I got to the Paoli office at 8:50 am for a 9 am appointment. I was sorta hoping that being early, they'd get me right in and out and I could still get to work by 10 without needing an explanation of my lateness.

My first gripe - my given name is Rosalind. But everyone calls me Lindy. This is my second time with Dr. Glassner's office, and I have told each and every nurse/tech/doctor in the practice that I really prefer to be called Lindy. I've seen them write it on my chart, in mulitple spots. The nurse comes to the door and calls, "Roz?"

First of all, who told you it was ok to shorten my given name to Roz? I hate it.  Second, did you even LOOK at the chart and see that I go by Lindy? I guess I just expect better acknowledgement, for how much money I'm paying these people and how often I'm there. I realize they see a lot of patients, but I don't think it's much to ask.

So anyway, she takes me back, draws my blood. I ask if she could please make a note to have someone call me with my beta and progesterone results, as I am keeping track. Her response:
"No, we won't call you because the betas won't still be doubling. And any progesterone level over 13 is good. Last time you were at 38, so I'm not concerned."

Um. Excuse me?

This is where I should have spoken up and said, "no, actually, I would still like someone to call, it's my info, it's my right." However, I sat there dumbfounded.  A fertility patient asking for some information about her fertility, and being denied for a stupid reason? I don't give a shit if they didn't double, I just asked you to call me with my numbers and you said NO.

Anyway. So then I go into the little waiting room, and the ultrasound tech calls me in.
"Hey Roz, how are you?"
What the hell is going on? Why am I suddenly Roz to these people?! Do I even look like a Roz???

My last few appointments have been at the Bryn Mawr office due to scheduling conflicts, so I haven't been here at Paoli since before I got my positive results. So the tech says,
"Well it's been awhile, I see you have some good news?"
I nod happily and scootch back and put my legs up so she can do her business. She immediately sticks the ultrasound wand in and goes to work. But her first comment is,
"hmmm I'm having a little trouble finding the baby. Here is your ovary, I'll just measure that first."
... ok, do what you gotta do. But I am trembling at this point, dying to see if this little baby has a heartbeat or not. It's all I've been thinking about for the past 10 days since my last appointment.
She measures the ovary, and then keeps prodding until she finds the gestational sac. She takes some measurements, and zooms in. And there he/she is. I smile broadly - my baby!!! I eagerly await for her to tell me what she can see, as to me it simply looks like a little circle with another little circle inside.
She points to a grainy area in the middle and says, "do you see that? there's the heartbeat!"
I feel tears spring to my eyes, as this is what I was waiting for. I ask her if the heartbeat is measurable, and she scoffs and says, "I've been doing this for a long time. I've seen enough of these to know when something looks unusual or abnormal. And this looks just fine."
Um. Ok. Again, why am I being denied information? I mean, a simple, "it's too early to measure," or, "I can't do that right now," would have sufficed. But just flat out mocking me? I dunno, I sorta felt like an idiot at that point. So she measures the fetus and tells me I'm measuring 6w1d according to the machine. For a brief second this concerned me, only because I thought I was a week ahead of that, and because I'm a compulsive bump.com reader and googler, my brain is going into overdrive thinking that maybe this means the growth has slowed and something is wrong. Duh, I know. I'm stupid. But whatever.

So I get dressed, and go back into the room where they drew my blood. This is when I typically would meet with Dr. Glassner. But since it's so early, apparently he's not here yet? Or he's indisposed doing a procedure, I'm not sure which. So I meet with the first person that actually DOES make me feel good today. I can't remember, maybe her name was Amy?
Anyway, she is very sweet, mild-mannered, and kind. I ask her about the fact that I'm a week behind where I thought and she said that it was absolutely nothing to worry about and that as things progress I may inch back towards the original due date. She also says it's possible that I ovulated later than I thought. I explain to her that since I was inseminated, I'm pretty sure we know the exact date. She then explains that it's possible that I didn't actually get pregnant for 2-3 days after the insemination - that isn't unheard of. So, I at least felt better about that part

Let me say one more time - despite the less-than-favorable treatment, I was still thrilled that my little baby's heart is beating away. This is a personal (and medical) milestone and apparently the risk of miscarriage drops significantly once the heartbeat is visible. However, I am the moron that keeps reading these posts and blogs about people who see the heartbeat around 6 weeks and then by 8 or 9...
well, I just can't let myself think like that. I am going to have to take a breather from these boards if I can't get my thoughts under control. I don't remember being this anxious and nervous when I was pregnant with Natalie. But... I've been through a lot in the past 4 years since then... so I guess it's natural.

My next appointment is next Friday the 5th of October. I will be 7w1d according to them.
I have found that I generally enjoy the staff at the Bryn Mawr office more than Paoli, so perhaps I will make subsequent appointments there. The only downfall is that it's a lot further from home and not as convenient when I have Natalie in tow. But I suppose it's worth the trek if I have a better experience!

Beta #2 - 5w2d

Yesterday, I went in for my second beta test and an ultrasound. As usual, they were brief yet efficient. The nurse who took my blood was chatty and pleasant, and congratulated me over and over again. The ultrasound tech was a little less friendly, but all business. She told me that based on what she could see on the screen, there was only 1 gestational sac and yolk sac in there. I cannot even begin to say how relieved that made me. Of course, she then backed herself up by saying, "but we won't know for sure until your next ultrasound, it's still too early to tell," but I'm going with only one in there.

Granted, we would have been over the moon if there were 2 in there. But 1 is just fine by me, TYVM.

She also said that the sac measured normally, but it was too early to see the embryo. And that at my next ultrasound we should be able to see a lot more, and possibly even a fetal pole (heartbeat!!!!!). I was thrilled regardless. She gave me a photo to take home to Dave, of which I promptly snapped a picture with my iPhone and sent it off... and then destroyed the (iPhone) evidence! Can't have Natalie getting ahold of the phone and someone seeing a picture of something that I'm not ready to share! Besides, showing ultrasound photos to people kind of creeps me out... it just feels sort of violating - that someone can see a picture of the inside of my uterus. But that's just me and I'm a weirdo. Anyway, I digress...

After the ultrasound, I went in to chat with Dr. Glassner. He confirm my EDD of 5/19/13, and went down the list of do's and don'ts for pregnancy. I asked if I could still have my 8 oz cup of coffee. He frowned, but said yes, as long as I limit myself to that. By the look of relief that I am sure washed across my face when he said that, I can tell he was amused because he smiled. He then told me that I could exercise but had to keep my pulse under 130 bpm. I explained to him that I am an avid exerciser, and I'm used to working out 5-6 days a week... and that made me nervous because 130 bpm is not much. He said to just pace myself - if I felt overtired or overheated, to back it down. But as long as whatever I am doing is what I'm used to, it's ok. That was a relief too - I was starting to worry about how I was going to keep up with my activities! Pretty soon soccer is going to be a no-no (I'm thinking I can play another 2-3 weeks as long as I'm smart about it)... but I can sacrifice a season or two if I must ;-)

So - my next appointment will be next Friday the 28th. I will be 6w5d at that point. I'm sure I'll update before then though!

Beta #1 (not like the fish) - 4w3d

On Wednesday the 12th, I went to Main Line Fertility for my first official beta test. I went in at 9:45 am, they took my blood, handed me a zillion prescriptions and samples of prenatal vitamins, and sent me on my way.

It was the LONGEST DAY EVER.

Finally, around 3 pm, my phone finally rang. I dashed outside to answer it, and sure enough it was Lisa from Dr. Glassner's office - calling to tell me that my beta came back at 247, and my progesterone was 38.1!

YIPPEE!!!! Wahoo!!! Hooray!!! Apparently that was a good number for being 17 dpo, so they saw no need to bring me back until the following week. Which kind of surprised me - after following a bunch of fertility forums and blogs, it seemed like a lot of doctors wanted you back within 24-36 hours to see if your numbers are doubling, which is indicative of a successful pregnancy. But Dr. Glassner and his overtly smooth overconfidence - I guess he knows what he's doing and I certainly am not going to question that!

I was especially thrilled about the progesterone # - they had me taking progesterone supplements, and let me tell you- that shit made me cray-cray. I'm not typically a very emotional person, and that stuff made me go off the deep end. Crying at stupid things, totally getting self-reflective and upset over the dumbest shit. So, with my level being at 38, they saw no need for me to continue it. Phew!

I scheduled my next appointment for Tuesday the 18th, for more bloodwork and an ultrasound. Considering I'm still so early, we might not see much at that appointment, but I'll take whatever I can get!

BFP - HERE WE GO AGAIN!

On Tuesday, September 4th, I decided to pee on a stick. I had pregnancy on the brain, and though I was only 9 or 10 dpo (days past ovulation), I was still consumed by the thought.
Of course, I got a BFN, or "big fat negative," in pregnancy blog lingo. But I didn't want to give up hope. Shortly thereafter, my boobs started getting really sore. Now, I know some girls have that issue when they are due for their period, but I never have. So, that was my first clue. So on Saturday, September 8th, the first thing I did when I got out of bed was marched into the bathroom and took a pregnancy test. And 3 minutes later, there it was. My faint little BFP.
My heart skipped several beats, and I kept staring at the little stick to make sure my eyes were seeing it correctly. I remember when I first got pregnant with Natalie in June of '09, Dave and I scrutinized the damned thing until we were cross-eyed. I didn't have to do that this time - I knew what i was looking at was more than likely legit. I called downstairs to Dave and asked him to come and look at something. Though his face lit up, he immediately said, "take another one tomorrow, just to make sure." I think that was his scared-shitless-Dad reaction, haha. But he was excited, I know... especially because he knew how much I really did want this.

I went off birth control back around March. We figured, we'd try to get pregnant, but knowing that I had required the assistance of Main Line Fertility last time, we'd just see what happened until we decided to (needed to) seek their help again.
Admittedly, I started getting a little discouraged when month after month, I didn't end up pregnant, but I am not one of those crazy charters or temp-takers, so honestly it was my own fault that I wasn't taking my fertility by the horns and really trying to conquer it.

But as of 9/8/12, my worrying stopped. And so begins our real journey to becoming a (human) family of 4!