So, I had my second ultrasound yesterday. And to be perfectly honest, the entire appointment was a bit of a disappointment to me.
Having said that, let me begin by saying that the ultrasound tech did point out the flicker/heartbeat to me, so I am overjoyed that we at least know this little baby's ticker is hard at work. That was a big relief. However, the entire appointment was just... blah. Let me explain.
I got to the Paoli office at 8:50 am for a 9 am appointment. I was sorta hoping that being early, they'd get me right in and out and I could still get to work by 10 without needing an explanation of my lateness.
My first gripe - my given name is Rosalind. But everyone calls me Lindy. This is my second time with Dr. Glassner's office, and I have told each and every nurse/tech/doctor in the practice that I really prefer to be called Lindy. I've seen them write it on my chart, in mulitple spots. The nurse comes to the door and calls, "Roz?"
First of all, who told you it was ok to shorten my given name to Roz? I hate it. Second, did you even LOOK at the chart and see that I go by Lindy? I guess I just expect better acknowledgement, for how much money I'm paying these people and how often I'm there. I realize they see a lot of patients, but I don't think it's much to ask.
So anyway, she takes me back, draws my blood. I ask if she could please make a note to have someone call me with my beta and progesterone results, as I am keeping track. Her response:
"No, we won't call you because the betas won't still be doubling. And any progesterone level over 13 is good. Last time you were at 38, so I'm not concerned."
Um. Excuse me?
This is where I should have spoken up and said, "no, actually, I would still like someone to call, it's my info, it's my right." However, I sat there dumbfounded. A fertility patient asking for some information about her fertility, and being denied for a stupid reason? I don't give a shit if they didn't double, I just asked you to call me with my numbers and you said NO.
Anyway. So then I go into the little waiting room, and the ultrasound tech calls me in.
"Hey Roz, how are you?"
What the hell is going on? Why am I suddenly Roz to these people?! Do I even look like a Roz???
My last few appointments have been at the Bryn Mawr office due to scheduling conflicts, so I haven't been here at Paoli since before I got my positive results. So the tech says,
"Well it's been awhile, I see you have some good news?"
I nod happily and scootch back and put my legs up so she can do her business. She immediately sticks the ultrasound wand in and goes to work. But her first comment is,
"hmmm I'm having a little trouble finding the baby. Here is your ovary, I'll just measure that first."
... ok, do what you gotta do. But I am trembling at this point, dying to see if this little baby has a heartbeat or not. It's all I've been thinking about for the past 10 days since my last appointment.
She measures the ovary, and then keeps prodding until she finds the gestational sac. She takes some measurements, and zooms in. And there he/she is. I smile broadly - my baby!!! I eagerly await for her to tell me what she can see, as to me it simply looks like a little circle with another little circle inside.
She points to a grainy area in the middle and says, "do you see that? there's the heartbeat!"
I feel tears spring to my eyes, as this is what I was waiting for. I ask her if the heartbeat is measurable, and she scoffs and says, "I've been doing this for a long time. I've seen enough of these to know when something looks unusual or abnormal. And this looks just fine."
Um. Ok. Again, why am I being denied information? I mean, a simple, "it's too early to measure," or, "I can't do that right now," would have sufficed. But just flat out mocking me? I dunno, I sorta felt like an idiot at that point. So she measures the fetus and tells me I'm measuring 6w1d according to the machine. For a brief second this concerned me, only because I thought I was a week ahead of that, and because I'm a compulsive bump.com reader and googler, my brain is going into overdrive thinking that maybe this means the growth has slowed and something is wrong. Duh, I know. I'm stupid. But whatever.
So I get dressed, and go back into the room where they drew my blood. This is when I typically would meet with Dr. Glassner. But since it's so early, apparently he's not here yet? Or he's indisposed doing a procedure, I'm not sure which. So I meet with the first person that actually DOES make me feel good today. I can't remember, maybe her name was Amy?
Anyway, she is very sweet, mild-mannered, and kind. I ask her about the fact that I'm a week behind where I thought and she said that it was absolutely nothing to worry about and that as things progress I may inch back towards the original due date. She also says it's possible that I ovulated later than I thought. I explain to her that since I was inseminated, I'm pretty sure we know the exact date. She then explains that it's possible that I didn't actually get pregnant for 2-3 days after the insemination - that isn't unheard of. So, I at least felt better about that part
Let me say one more time - despite the less-than-favorable treatment, I was still thrilled that my little baby's heart is beating away. This is a personal (and medical) milestone and apparently the risk of miscarriage drops significantly once the heartbeat is visible. However, I am the moron that keeps reading these posts and blogs about people who see the heartbeat around 6 weeks and then by 8 or 9...
well, I just can't let myself think like that. I am going to have to take a breather from these boards if I can't get my thoughts under control. I don't remember being this anxious and nervous when I was pregnant with Natalie. But... I've been through a lot in the past 4 years since then... so I guess it's natural.
My next appointment is next Friday the 5th of October. I will be 7w1d according to them.
I have found that I generally enjoy the staff at the Bryn Mawr office more than Paoli, so perhaps I will make subsequent appointments there. The only downfall is that it's a lot further from home and not as convenient when I have Natalie in tow. But I suppose it's worth the trek if I have a better experience!
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